When your ex gets married, how are you supposed to feel?

Should you be sad?
Should you be angry?
Should you be happy?
Should you be unaffected?

All these feelings are valid because it depends on how the person became your ex and if you still care about or talk to them.

An ex is someone you had a romantic relationship with in the past. In some cases, the ex is still in your present because you’re cool and friends, while in other cases, even though you haven’t been together in ages, they’re still very much relevant because they occupy your thoughts daily. However, some exes are just exes. They are in your past and you have no clue what’s going on in their lives.

As a thirty-something-year-old woman, of course, I have exes, some of whom are married today. This December, my first boyfriend got married, and I saw it through his close friends’ story. We haven’t spoken in so long, but he thought it cool to add me as a close friend on Instagram. That’s something ☺️. Also, someone that really liked me in 2020 and wanted us to date, but I wasn’t feeling got married. I was so happy to see the photos. He’s a good person and deserves a happy marriage, and I wish that for him.

In the past, I’ve felt hurt when an ex got married. I felt like I wasn’t good enough and wondered when my time would come. I was in a dark place for a long time before I could snap out of it. Now, I know I felt this way because I was unknowingly hung up on the idea of still being with him. Since then, when I move on, I genuinely move on. I unfollow an ex from my socials and keep communication to the barest minimum. This method is good for my mental health.

When your ex gets married, it’s okay to feel how you feel. If you’re sad, own it. If you’re happy for them, own it too. It’s very unhealthy to deny your emotions and be unresponsive to your true feelings, regardless of how happy or sad you feel.

When an ex gets married, we can’t help but wonder if that could have been us if things turned out differently. I’ve always been curious about how married people feel when their exes get married. I wonder if they give it any thought.

Share your thoughts below. Let’s have a conversation about this.

Mariam Shittu