I turned a year older on the 8th of October, and for my birthday this year, I conducted an experiment. I reached out to some of my friends and family to ask them a certain set of questions about me. I was simply curious to see how they viewed me through their own lens, and I also thought it would be fun.

Questions

1. What’s Mariam’s favourite thing to do?
2. If Mariam had the option of free food for life or free laundry services for life, which one would she go for?
3. What do you think people misunderstand about Mariam a lot?
4. What is a word or phrase Mariam says way more often than she realises?
5. What small, quirky thing does Mariam do that annoys you?
6. What is Mariam’s favourite song?
7. What is Mariam most excited about lately?
8. Share your favourite quote or poem written by Mariam.

I sent the questions to five men and seven women, and here is how they answered.

1. The “Spot Ons” (Questions 1 & 3)

Favourite Thing To Do: Almost everyone, except one person, got my favourite thing to do right. I thought some people would have said travelling or eating out. Though those are favourites too, writing takes the number one spot.

What People Misunderstand About Me: There were two variations of answers to this question. Half of the respondents leaned towards me being considered a quiet person when, in fact, I am not quiet at all. The others said I could be seen as a snob or an unfriendly person, when I am far from that. I’ve been told the latter before, so I wasn’t shocked when I saw it. I think it’s because of my resting face. One other person also mentioned that my directness can sometimes be seen as offensive.

2. The Tricksters (Questions 2, 6 & 7)

Free Food vs Free Laundry: Everyone answered food, and I kept smiling when I got the answers. I know I do love to eat, both at home and out, but if I had the option of never having to do my own laundry again, especially ironing my clothes, oh Lord, I would definitely choose that! We’re talking about never having to lift an iron, load the washing machine or dry clothes ever again!

Favourite Song: This was a trick question because I don’t have a favourite song. A majority of the respondents guessed, while a few said they didn’t know. I have always had a song of the moment, but never a favourite song.

What I’m Most Excited About Lately: The answer to this could have been different things, but there’s one that has my heart currently. Most people mentioned working out, getting my health and body right, personal growth, writing, poem recitation, building my newsletter community and joining Substack. However, only one person mentioned incorporating running into my fitness routine, and that person got it right!

3. The Shockers (Questions 4 & 5)

Go-to Phrase: “Do you get?”, “Oh my God!”, “Wow”, “That’s wild” and “Are you serious?” topped the list of responses.

Quirky Trait: I was harassed for tidying up spaces that were still in use and refusing to ask for help when needed. Spacing out was also mentioned. Some other people said they couldn’t identify a quirky thing, and I think they must have said that out of love because your girl knows she has some weird traits!

4. The Creative Highlight (Question 8)

The responses to this question moved me the most. I liked every single answer I received. Since I don’t have a favourite quote or poem of my own, it was nice to see that my people do, and that my words and book mean something to them. Some of the responses included “Your presence is enough”, “You are everything“, “I hope you find peace, clarity and love”, “Innocent Bystander” and “If This Is Love“. Someone even said the whole book, Because of You. Lol.

I hope you find peace. Unexplainable peace that’ll give you strength for better days ahead. Peace that’ll improve your confidence, drive, abilities and tenacity. Peace that’ll keep you focused and prepared. Peace that’ll make the whispers unimportant and the insomnia a forgotten battle.

I hope you find clarity. Clarity on your career, business, relationships and decisions. Clarity on your goals, pitfalls and path. Clarity that’ll transform your life in the direction you need to get ahead. Clarity that’ll make you identify the bad and remove it from your life. Clarity that will make you choose right.

I hope you find love. Real love. Pure love. True love. Soft love. Easy love. Unforced love. Patient love. Requited love. Understanding love. Unquestionable love. The best kind of love.

Conducting this experiment made me see how people view me. It made me feel present and known to a very large extent by my inner circle. I’m glad I did this.

Will you try your own birthday experiment?

Thanks for stopping by.

Mariam Shittu