On the 4th of September, I googled “does grief end”.

It’s been three years and ten months since I lost my Mum, and I miss her so much. A lot has happened since she’s been gone and it’s so unfair that she’s not here to see it. I’d like to say I’m a lot stronger than I was last year, but I still cry from time to time.

My search results had a mix of opinions. Some people believe it ends when you don’t feel the pain anymore while others say it never truly ends. I agree with the latter because I can’t believe there will ever be a time I will be cool with the fact that my Mum is dead and didn’t get to see her children shine.

I was going through the text messages my Mum and I sent to each other the other day and I cried myself to sleep. I woke up the next day and wrote the prose poem below.

The annoying thing about grief is
you may be fine for a long time
and believe you’ve moved on

Then one day,
the tears start rolling again
and you cry and cry
until you fall asleep

Death’s finality is heart shattering. You will never ever see that person again, except in your dreams. And you can only understand how deep this when you experience a close loss.

What do you think? Does grief end?

Mariam Shittu