I’m lonely
I’m lost
I’m sad
I’m bitter

I sit 
I stand
I wonder
I ponder

What’s life without anger?
What’s life without mistakes?
Where’s everyone when you need them?
Where’s my happily ever after?

With guilt
With remorse
With yearning
With hope

Am I fat?
Am I losing weight?
Am I still the same?
Am I still pretty?

The lies
The pretense
The fear of shame
The desire to be great

Is this real?
Is this me?
Is this for me?
Is this meant to be?

I will be successful 
I will be great
I will be content
I will be happy

Because that’s what I deserve

Mariam Shittu 
xo