POEM| Dear Mama

Dear Mama,
I never thought of today
without you in it
I never knew you wouldn’t
see me become the woman
you taught me to be

Dear Mama,
I wish we knew sooner
and accepted what was coming when we knew
we would have spent the last days preparing
instead of hoping and praying

Dear Mama,
watching you take your last breath
is a memory I can never
get out of my mind
it was a very long inhale
but there was no exhale
suddenly everything became quiet
as you laid there still

Dear Mama,
I can never forget your last words
they had my name in them
Initially, it made me sad
because you told me to leave you
but now I think of it
as a reflection of how close we were
for you to call out my name in your deep sleep

Dear Mama,
home hasn’t felt like home
since you left
Actually, nothing has
because you’re missing
and everything reminds me of you

Dear Mama,
I miss everything about you
but I miss your voice most
Funny how I always complained
about how loud it got
and told you to tone it down
when you were on the phone
Now I find myself longing for it
wishing to hear it not just in old videos
but see you speaking right in front of  me

Dear Mama,
sometimes I find myself choosing
to wear something you gave me
just to keep you with me every day
I remember every single thing given to me by you
and I will never give them away.

Dear Mama,
guess what?
I went ahead and bought the necklace
as your 60th birthday present
it’s sitting on my neck now
I’m sorry I didn’t buy it while you were here
I didn’t know you would be leaving so soon

Dear Mama,
heaven only knows
why you; the rarest gem that walked this earth
had to leave us so suddenly
A day can never go by
without you on my mind
I miss your love and free spirit
I miss you every day and even more today

Mariam Shittu

Don’t forget to tell your Mama how much you love her, while you can. I wrote this several months ago. I have been sitting on it since but I decided to hit the publish button today.