I totally underestimated how busy I was going to be in December. For some reason, I thought I would be able to manage my time well enough to have some writing time but I didn’t. With the two weddings and all my siblings in Nigeria at the same time and end of year plans at work, I was swamped. I only managed to write a shabby poem (I know I could have done better with more time) on Christmas day.

2019 was an amazing year. Yes, I will say it was amazing even though there was a lot of pain, there was a lot of love too. I grew in every way imaginable and I’m thankful for that. I travelled, wrote a book that I haven’t published, started a new job, made a lot of new friends, and I shed a few tears too. I didn’t accomplish everything I needed to do though and I didn’t even attain my reading goal of 50 books.

2020 is here and I ate into the new year sad. Yeah, you read that right. I wasn’t happy like everyone else and I’m not afraid or ashamed to say it. I feel a lot better to be able to write about it now. I know every crossover into a new year will always remind me about the things I have lost but I need to remember the things I have gained and use that to offset all the sadness that swells up inside me.

So what am I doing differently this year? I don’t believe in resolutions but I know for sure that;

• I will live more.
• I will work hard.
• I will treat myself kindly.
• I will be more intentional.
• I will keep leading with honesty.
• I will speak up instead of keeping quiet.
• I will strive for progress, not perfection.
• I will learn not to expect as much as I give.
• I will focus on being a better version of myself.
• I will keep writing my goals and setting reminders to make sure I achieve them.
• I will remember that peace is always up to me and remove myself from situations that bring noise.

Happy New Year! Wish you the best of 2020.

Mariam Shittu

xo