If we were having tea, I’d be so happy to see you. I’d give you a big hug and linger for about a minute or two. I’d finally take a seat and ask you what it’s like up there with a big smile on my face. When the waiter comes with the menu, I’d ask him to give us some time before coming back to take our orders. I’d also add that we’ll let him know when we’re ready by calling him over instead.

If we were having tea, I’d fill you in on everything that has happened since the last time we had tea which was such a long time ago. I’d focus on this year and all its surprises especially the sudden deaths, coronavirus pandemic, and our currently unsettled word. I bet you never thought the time will come where so much would be going on in different countries around the world at the same time. I’d tell you that there was a time where almost every country in the world went on lockdown. It was really scary and we all talked about you during the lockdown at different moments, wondering what you would have been saying and doing to make us worry less. We truly do still miss you every day and I doubt this feeling will ever go away.

If we were having tea, I’d also talk about all the good things that have still managed to beautify our lives amidst all the chaos. We’re getting along fine; I know this is important to you LOL. We’re staying safe, keeping in touch, and all healthy to the best of my knowledge. However, we all look forward to normalcy and wish we didn’t have to cancel or postpone our travel plans. Guess what? your big sister turned 80 and we found a way to celebrate her in a special way. I’m glad we did because she never expected it. I wonder if we’d have done this if you were still here.

If we were having tea, I know at this point you’d shift the focus to me. I’d ask the waiter to come over to take our orders; chamomile tea for you and chai tea for me.  I’d admit that I was trying to stall for as long as I could but you finally caught me. I’d tell you how I’m not happy that the house is now my office and I know you’d tell me to be grateful that I’m still employed which I truly am. I’d tell you how much I miss going to watch a movie at the cinema and eating out at a restaurant most out of all the things I can’t do because it’s still unsafe. I’d tell you how I’m doing okay but I’ve been struggling to juggle all the many aspects of my life; work, business, blogging, relationships, leisure, and self-development. I need a holiday or an activity free week but I bet you already knew I was going to say that.

If we were having tea, I’d tell you that there are still many days I lie awake in the dark missing you and wishing you never left. I’d try not to cry while I tell you about all my worries, angry moments, and sad moments. I know you’ll have the perfect words to reassure me that I’m on the right path.

If we were having tea, I’d hate for this rare moment to end.

Lots of love.

Mariam Shittu