I’ve seen too many dead bodies
I think I’m scarred for life

First was my Grandma
I watched her die
I was too young to see that
but my Mum and Aunt
didn’t remember I was there
as they cried for their Mum to wake up

Next was my Mum
I stayed beside her
as she took deep breaths
in her deep sleep
then she took one long weird inhale
and there was no exhale
loud silence erupted the room
then panic, chaos and denial
before the tears came crashing in

Next was my Dad
I wasn’t there when it happened
but I saw his lifeless state
and held his hands
Seeing him lying still
felt like deja vu
and in that moment
I knew I had seen too much

I’ve seen too many dead bodies
I think I’m scarred for life

Mariam Shittu