Smalliez is a diner in Victoria Island, Lagos. It had been on my to-visit list for quite some time until I finally stopped by with my smallie, Deborah, in April for lunch.

AMBIENCE

The diner occupies three different floors and is aesthetically decorated with music notes and quotes and blue and soft pink-toned furniture. The ground floor has a basic vibe setting with single and booth seats. The first floor is more relaxed and playful, with bench seats, stools, and single seats, while the second floor has a bar vibe.

MENU

The food menu is categorized into twenty-two sections, with at least two options per section. I couldn’t take a picture of all the sections, but there’s something for everyone, from sweet to savoury. Just like the food menu, the drink menu is categorized into nineteen sections. There are so many options, including regular cafe-type hot and cold drinks, cocktails, smoothies, and shakes.

WHAT WE ORDERED

For drinks, I chose the Mango and Passion Fruit Smoothie and Deborah chose Hibiscus and Cosmopolitan. We also asked for two bottles of water.

We stared at the food menu forever because we weren’t sure what to order. I initially wanted something sweet, like waffles or pancakes with toppings, but then I became undecided. While we were deciding, we were served complimentary popcorn, which was so good (popcorn lover here).

For starters, we chose Chicken Wings, something safe. We initially asked for Jerk Chicken Wings but were told they would take over 45 minutes to prepare. We ended up settling for breaded chicken wings with honey lemon sauce. For mains, Deborah chose Breakfast Lamb Rice, and I chose a Chicken and Beef Loaded Burger.

I’m not even going to lie. The smoothie was good. It was so good that I had finished it before my main meal arrived.

Our starter was served about thirty minutes later or longer. The chicken was dry, and we didn’t enjoy it much, with or without the sauce. The main meals were served another thirty minutes later. As soon as I saw my burger, I knew there was no way I would eat it all. I was already stuffed. So I had two bites and ate the fries which weren’t freezer fries, but freshly cut and fried potatoes. Deborah, on the other hand, dug into her rice. She said it was good but didn’t taste as good as it looked. She also packed the rest of the meal to eat later, like I did.

Later that day, I ate the burger and that burger burgered. It was juicy, tasty, filling and fully loaded as the name says. I even took a photo as proof. See it below.

SERVICE DELIVERY & CUSTOMER EXPERIENCE

We were ushered into the space and taken to all floors to decide where to sit. For some reason, the power kept going off and on, and there were moments when the diner was hot. Also, though the space is beautiful, there’s no good natural lighting for pictures. I edited most of the pictures here. The wait time for everything we ordered was long though the diner wasn’t busy as only another table was occupied besides ours. Our waiter was courteous and apologized for the delay when we complained. Overall, we had a good time, and I’d like to go back to try something sweet and calorie-packed. Parking is limited and may be a struggle when the diner is busy.

DAMAGE

Water x2 ~ 3,600
Mango & Passion Fruit Smoothie ~ 9,500
Hibiscus And Cosmopolitan ~ 8,500
Chicken Wings ~ 12,000
Breakfast Lamb Rice ~ 16,000
Chicken and Beef Loaded Burger ~ 20,000 (it’s now 23,000)
Takeaway box ~ 2,000
Our total bill was 71,600.

RATING

Food – ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Service – ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Ambience – ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Overall Experience – 6.5/10

Smalliez is a nice spot for breakfast, brunch, and lunch with friends and family. However, make sure you’re well-equipped cash-wise, as their prices are on the high side.

P.S. This is not a sponsored post. All opinions I expressed are mine.

Mariam Shittu