Years ago, my boss gave me a copy of The Rules of Work by Richard Templar. It was one of those books that stuck with me, not because it promised secrets to instant success, but because it offered practical and somewhat weird advice I already use. So, when I came across The Rules of Everything, I was immediately intrigued.

The Rules of Everything is a kind of “best of” compilation—Templar has written many books in his Rules series, and this one draws from all of them. Think of it as a condensed version of life’s cheat sheet: career, relationships, thinking, parenting, personal growth, and everything in between.

The format is simple—short chapters, each one a rule. You can read it cover to cover or dip in and out when you need a quick reminder or boost of clarity.

Here are ten rules from the book that really stood out to me:

1. Don’t Settle For Your First Answer

Initially, I thought this was weird, but after reading, I understood his point and found it valuable. Our instincts matter, but so does reflection. When you really think about it, our initial response isn’t always the best one. Taking time to think things through leads to better decisions. So, try this next time. Write down your first idea/thought/solution, and think of a second option. 

2. Your Feelings Are Your Own

This one hit hard. It’s very easy to blame others for how we feel, but we are responsible for our feelings and how we choose to react to situations. Deflecting responsibility for our feelings onto others can leave us feeling powerless. However, when we take ownership of our emotions, we reclaim our strength and influence over our lives.

3. Train People To Bring You Solutions, Not Problems

I learnt this in my former workplace. My boss was clear and strict about bringing solutions to the problems we were facing before we came to her. It always made me think of all possible scenarios and options before acting and groomed me to become the problem solver I am today. I won’t lie; I thought it was unfair all those years ago, but now I train people to do this, too. In work and life, encouraging others to think proactively creates a much healthier dynamic. This rule is a game-changer for anyone in a leadership role.

4. You’ll Get Older But Not Necessarily Wiser

If you believe you know everything and have experienced it all simply because you’re 50 years old, you’re mistaken. Age alone does not ensure personal growth. True wisdom arises from reflection, openness, and intentional learning. I enjoy learning from people of all ages, and you should embrace that perspective as well.

5. It’s Okay To Give Up (Not Quit)

This is another rule that resonated with me more than any of the others in my top 10. Templar explained that giving up isn’t always a sign of weakness; sometimes, it’s about clarity. He encourages us to try first and severally, even, but we should also recognise when something is no longer serving us, which is a true form of strength.

6. Everyone Else Is Insecure Too

This one is surprisingly comforting. It’s a reminder that nobody has it all figured out. We’re all navigating our messiness, often in silence. He made reference to public speaking and work presentations, noting that even the best of the best are still nervous about them. 

7. You Can’t Make Someone Love You

No matter how hard you try, love has to be freely given. Templar reminded us that genuine affection emerges organically, free from pressure or manipulation, and thrives in an atmosphere where trust and acceptance are present. Attempting to force love often leads to disappointment, as true bonds are built on sincerity and the willingness of both individuals to connect authentically.

8. People Come And Go, And It’s Okay

Friendships, colleagues, and even family relationships can sometimes be seasonal. This is a normal part of life, and accepting it can help us cope with changes. Embracing this understanding makes parting ways less painful.

9. Know When To Let Go/Walk Away

Staying in a situation longer than necessary can lead to higher costs, whether financial, emotional, or social. This could mean missing out on better opportunities or allowing unfavourable circumstances to worsen over time. Often, the fear of change can prevent us from making timely decisions, trapping us in unfulfilling situations. Learning to recognise when it’s time to leave can ultimately save us more than simply hanging on.

10. Create Your Own Rules

The author encourages us to create our own rules as well. He is not the only one who can observe people and identify what works for them, we can do that too. A good rule aims to change your attitude or shift your mindset, allowing you to approach problems or situations from a different perspective.

If you’re a fan of personal development that’s honest, practical, and sometimes uncomfortably real, The Rules of Everything is worth your time. It doesn’t tell you what to do—it nudges you toward thinking more clearly and living more deliberately. There are a lot of rules in the book, so pick what you need.

Have you read any of Richard Templar’s books? Or do any of these rules resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Mariam Shittu