I Can’t Believe It’s Been Three Years

I don’t care what anyone says because I know no amount of preparation, planning or time can make grief and losing a loved one easy. There are a whole lot of easy tasks but grieving isn’t one of them. I know this because I’ve been in the driver’s seat of this journey for the past three years. 

If you’re a new reader, I lost my Mum three years ago. Her death was sudden and I’m still processing it till this day. People say that things get better with time, even grief and it’s true but to an extent. Yes, as time goes by you learn to live with it but it will always be at the back of your mind all the time every single day. You can choose to get sucked into it and you can choose to overlook it but it’s always there. 

Some days are good and some days are bad, but I believe I’m managing fine. I’m dealing with the absence of my Mum by writing about my feelings, incorporating her selflessness in my life, celebrating her every chance I get, and carrying her with me everywhere I go (mostly through the jewelry she gave me).

I still wish I could hear her voice.
I still wish I could bring her back.
I still feel sad when people gush about their Mums.

The anniversary of her death was on the 12th of November and we shared some food just like she did on her late parents’ birthdays. It’s her birthday today and I visited her grave. She would have been 62. Happy Birthday, Mama. Love you forever. 

If you’re dealing with grief, please take all the time you need. There’s no right or wrong way and don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re weak. It’s a one day at a time thing.

I know for sure that;

You will smile again.
You will be happy again.
You will find peace again. 

So, don’t lose hope.

Mariam Shittu