BOOKS| Notes From Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man by Steve Harvey

The first time I read Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, was in 2012. I read it again last month, and it occurred to me that I didn’t have any business reading it then because the content makes so much sense to me now. I was transferring files from my old laptop and stumbled upon the book and thought, why not? Though I’ve seen the movies; Think Like a Man and Think Like a Man Too, I never went back to the book. Anyway, while I was reading it this time around, I made notes, and I thought to share them on the blog for the ladies in the house.

1.) WHAT DRIVES MEN
A man is driven by;

• Who is he,
• What he does,
• And how much money he makes

The level he’s at in three areas, will determine his behaviour, availability and desire for commitment.

2.) HOW MEN SHOW LOVE
A man that loves you will profess, provide and protect you. Profess by declaring openly that you’re his girl and introducing you as his girl. Provide by giving you what you need and taking care of you financially. Protect by taking care of you in every aspect (physically, emotionally, mentally, etc.)

3.)THREE THINGS MEN NEED FROM YOU
Every man needs their girl’s support, loyalty and cookie (sex). So when a man approaches you, he has a plan to sleep with you or find out what it takes to do so. Sleeping with you is always in the plan.

4.) OBEY THE 90 DAYS RULE
Try to avoid sex for 90 days. This is necessary to investigate the man before giving him sex. Learn how he reacts when you tell him you’ve got some problems, how he reacts under pressure, how he reacts when he’s told no, how he reacts to bad news. During the wait, things you can do include; dates to help you find out each other’s interests, family events, picnic, concert, movies, arcade, a few firsts, volunteering, board games, long walks, sexting(check literacy), and reading together.

5.) HOW TO HOLD CONVERSATIONS WITH MEN
Men can’t talk for long because they are natural solution providers. When they hear a problem, they look for a fix/solution and move on. When a man gives an answer or response, it’s a cue that he’s no longer listening. So they generally aren’t interested in long conversations like female friends. It’s better to get to the point quickly; that way you’re sure he’s listening.

6.) QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE COMMITMENT

• What are your short term goals?
• What are your long term goals?
• What are your views on relationships?
• What do you think about me?
• How do you feel about me?

7.) HAVING STANDARDS/REQUIREMENTS
Men actually like it when women have standards. We all have requirements and it’s best to figure out exactly what these requirements are. A list of ten suggestions were provided in the book, and I found them useful.

8.) MEN APPRECIATE WHEN THEY ARE NEEDED

• Let him figure out where to take you.
• Let him drive you.
• Let him get the bill.
• Don’t invite him in (before 90 days).
• Let him do all the fixing, taking out of the garbage, mowing, plumbing issues.
• Don’t do any heavy lifting even if you can.

9.) A LIST OF DON’Ts

• Don’t wear tees and pjs all the time. Try lingerie.
• Don’t be afraid to lose a man because if he loves you, he’s not going anywhere.
• Don’t buy a man gifts while you’re dating until you’re in a committed relationship.
• Don’t ignore his worrisome attachment to his Mum.
• Don’t wait till you’ve decided to commit to a guy before you introduce him to your kids

I hope you find these notes helpful.

Mariam Shittu