Get To Know Me: 3 Difficult Changes I’m Living With

So far, 2020 has been the year of unexpected changes for us all because of the coronavirus pandemic. Though we’re getting used to our new normal like wearing face masks when we go out and washing our hands or sanitizing multiple times during the day, it still feels weird and we all can’t wait to have our regular lives back. 

Change is the only constant thing in life yet more often than not, most people run from it. As much as we may shy away from change, life brings it forth continually because as we are evolving as humans, everything around us too is. I for one know that I’ve grown so much this year as opposed to last year and even this month as opposed to last month. 

I love learning because it means I’m growing, so embracing change is not always a difficult flight for me. However, the unexpected changes that 2020 has brought my way haven’t been as difficult as these changes that I still sometimes struggle with every day.

Life Without My Mama 

This is a change I never saw coming (not for another thirty years). As I watched my Mum take her last breath, I couldn’t wrap my head around it and was standing there speechless, waiting for her to breathe again. Everything changed for me in that moment and on that day, and I know for certain that I lost a part of me too. People say there are five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance), I was in the anger stage for the longest time, probably a year. It’s almost three years since I lost my Mum and I don’t think I have fully accepted this change. However, I moved out of our apartment and I’ve been living without her ever since. That’s the biggest and most difficult unwilling change I’ve ever made in my life. I always thought I could still go see her whenever I moved out but that will never happen again in this lifetime. I’d like to say I’m doing fine but I have good days and some bad ones too.

Speaking More/Expressing Myself

Growing up, I was extremely quiet; the kind of quiet that I wouldn’t say anything unless it was necessary. I used to observe but not comment. I would watch other people play but not participate and witness bad things and not communicate. It always felt like something was pulling down my throat stopping me from speaking out. Unfortunately, it made me miss out on a lot of things and it limited my potential. Now, I’m happy to say that this is a thing of the past. I’m not talkative but I talk enough and getting to this stage was difficult for me. It was an intentional and gradual process which took a long time but I’m happy I’m here. I started by building my self-confidence and loving my soft-spoken voice (initially I was ashamed it made me seem weak). I took baby steps every day, I read a lot, discovered writing, and understood that the only person that could help me was me. These days, I look back at the past and I’m happy for my growth. When I see children below the age of 10, talking and expressing themselves, it brings me joy. I think it’s okay for introverts to know that even though they like their space and don’t like noise, they can be expressive and assertive too.

Related Posts:
Life is Tough But So Are You
Finding Strength from Weakness
Embrace Growth

A Healthy Eating Habit

If anyone told me a time will come where I wouldn’t eat toast bread for breakfast, indomie and corn beef for lunch and white rice and stew for dinner, I would have told them they were insane. About six years ago, I used to eat anything and everything without caring if it was healthy or doing any harm to my body. I had no regard for fruits and could go for two weeks (sometimes even longer) without them. I drank a lot of fizzy drinks and water wasn’t a necessity. Food was food and anything readily available was considered. I started paying attention to what I eat in 2015 because I became interested in nourishing my body. The transition was extremely difficult for the first two years because I had to let go of a lot of my favourite regular meals and switched them with healthier alternatives. I kept falling off my plan until 2017 when I got a hang of it. I’ve been fasting intermittently since July 2017, and it’s been a lifestyle since then. I’m not going to lie to you that it’s been easy and I got this because I don’t. I’ve only found a system that works for me and you can do this too. I have cheat days (instead of eating unhealthy every day), I drink a lot of water (no fizzy drinks), I exercise, and I keep reminding myself why this is important every day.

Related Posts:
You Are What You Eat
Intermittent Fasting – How I Lost 5kg in Two Months 

In a world that is constantly changing, I believe it is to our advantage to change along with it. Do you?

Mariam Shittu

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Hi, my name is Mariam Shittu and I live in Lagos, Nigeria. I’m a poet, but I also write about my travels, places in Lagos, my lifestyle and things that inspire me. I enjoy sharing my knowledge with the world and nurturing the human mind. Thanks for stopping by!

10 thoughts on “Get To Know Me: 3 Difficult Changes I’m Living With

  1. Wow! Mimi, I am inspired by the healthy lifestyle switch especially because you said it took you two years to get a hang of it (so I’m not doing badly afterall *side eyes my heavy rice diet*). I want to be intentional about IF (Lord send help!).
    Your mum… I can’t even imagine what that must be like. Can never be easy…I mean I know people whose mums have been gone for decades but it feels like yesterday to them. There’s really no replacement for our mums sha.
    I love your transition into a more confident woman. It is truly beautiful to see. Soft-spoken isn’t weakness, it is sweetness.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Chidimma, I’ve always believed in the saying “slow and steady, wins the race”. That’s why I’ve never followed any fad diet or unrealistic weight loss challenge. You can maintain a healthy lifestyle too, as long as you’re intentional, honest with yourself and smashing your goals.
      I love the quote you added at the end, I’m gonna share it on my Instagram. Thank you ❤️

      Like

  2. This was a good read. I also don’t talk much and I think mine was built on the fear of saying what might not be acceptable. I struggled with this a lot when I started working because I hardly ever contribute at team meetings or presentation. It has gotten better though. I try to encourage my kids to express themselves at every possible opportunity. Lol

    I am trying so hard to incorporate exercise to my routine. So help me God 🤦🏽‍♀️

    Like

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