Musings of a PMS Afflicted Woman

In bed but I can’t sleep. I check the time and it’s 2:00am. My legs ache like I ran all day and I’m feeling hot from the inside. The heat is so much it’s starting to transcend outside my body even though the air conditioning is on and I’m right underneath it. I try to switch positions and I feel pain in my breasts. They barely fit in my bra during the day and their tenderness and weight is getting unbearable. I find a semi-comfortable position and I begin counting backwards from one million hoping to get some sleep soon.

It’s that time of the month before my red visitor arrives and I’m being punished in anticipation of its arrival. Once upon a time, I had this under control because nature helped. With turmeric, ginger and parsley tea, I ruled this phase but now their powers seem weak to this force of nature and I suffer while waiting for it to pass.

I’m fine.
I hate you.
I want ice cream.
I love you.
Stay away please.

Premenstrual syndrome symptoms can make you cranky and bitchy and people that are unfortunate to cross your path get unlucky. It may also be accompanied with nausea, a headache that wouldn’t go away, diarrhoea, backache, acne, insomnia, hot flashes, cold, unbelievable food cravings, lazy mornings, and stomach ache that make you just want to curl up in bed all day.

Blue vervain, ginger and turmeric keep the cramps at bay but the past 365 days have been hell and I envy people who can’t relate to this (I want to be you). I wonder if there’s a PMS manual somewhere I haven’t found.

Being a woman is hard work y’all.

Mariam Shittu